It has been pretty quiet here for the last weeks.
Well there is a reason behind this. Some weeks ago, my life changed. From one day to another. Like not a little, more like one of these bumpy head down transitions that you start doing in the tunnel after you felt secure in going from the net. Complete upside down. You think you are prepared. But in fact, this shit is so fast and you don’t really have the complete overview that it scares the shit out of you.
Well, this is what I felt like the last weeks. I can maybe tell you more in a bit of time, but yeah, it affects different parts of my life.
But as with hd transistions, you also don’t give up and try to adapt to the new situation. It is super exhausting and makes you terribly tired, but at the same time, you feel that there is something big and new waiting for you. You struggle, you crash, you maybe cry and sometimes you just hope for the best.
Unlike in the tunnel, I unfortunately don’t have a coach who catches me and keeps me from killing myself. Believe me, several times, I just thought: and what if I just take the next plane to somewhere with palms and never return? There is one reason: because running away doesn’t help you. As long as you don’t have a good plan, like a job that enables you working at the beach and makes you happy, it is only a short time solution.
So what helps me right now? I don’t know if my personal tricks might help you too, but maybe think of it and adapt it to your needs:
- Accept it: It doesn’t help you asking why all the time. Why does this happen to me, mimimi. It happens, and that is the current situation you have to deal with. Otherwise you will only paralize yourself and keep you from getting our of it (with a little more knowledge and strength). And if you can also see change as a chance it will lose a lot of it’s scary appearance.
- Step after step: Ok this is probably something that comes up to your mind too. But setting priorities and dealing with the things first, which you can actually influence, is even more important in a situation like that. In my case, for example it was to start the moving into my new flat. At least, I have a save place now, where I can hide when everything is too much.
- Breathe. And scream: the yogi way. But sometimes the yogi way is just not enough. In that case, go somewhere where people won’t call the police because they are afraid somebody was attacked with a knife, or, just as I did, sit down in your car and scream as loud as you can. With all your body. Your voice will be shaky afterwards, but you will feel the relief instantly. It is just so good to let it all out.
- Cry if you need to: Nobody expects you to be strong all the time. There will be the point where all your superpowers are empty. When you feel like crying, let it go. Just don’t pity yourself too much, because this will bring you down even more.
- Drink: ok alcohol is never a solution, because you will feel even worse on the next day. And I won’t advice you to be constantly drunk. But if there is a party that makes you feel alive, have fun and enjoy a few hours with friends, and if this party comes with a few caipis that makes you forget the shit – why not. You are a human. You are allowed to have fun. Sitting alone at home with a coke never solved a problem as well as alcohol did. Just keept the balance (in my case the headache on the next morning did clearly remind me of the fact that I shouldn’t do this too often).
- Surround yourself with the right people: sometimes this can be old friends. Or maybe just new ones. But pick those, that don’t tell you how strong and poor you are all day long. Take those, who want to push you. Take you to places you’ve never been before. Make you forget all that shit, even if it is for an hour. Accept hugs from others (something that made me almost cry two weeks ago when I was working on an event, but actually made me feel so much better). And: accept help. Something I had to learn and still struggle with. Help is out there and you are allowed to use it.
- Avoid talking about it too much: We tend to analyze situations over and over again, in every detail. But as you might have recognized, rarely we find solutions. We just focus on the shit and the shit grows. Focus also on the good things outside the black hole. Then suddenly solutions and new ideas pop up.
- Take your time for things that are good for you: whatever it might be, take your time. Enjoy and don’t regret. Two hours of me-time help you way more in the end that struggling with ten things and making mistakes.
- Try out new stuff, meet new people: You might think – what? But yes: change also means opening up for new things. And if everything is going crazy, why not riding the wave and seize the confusion to start something new? You have nothing to loose, right?
- Don’t let them put you down: ok, questioning yourself and self-reflection is important. But don’t feel like a complete idiot. There is so many factors that influence certain situations. And the only thing you can really work on and start with, is you.
- Last but not least. But the hardest thing: Trust. I personally struggle with this a lot right now. But only if you trust that everything will fall into place and will make sense in the end, you can go out and rock the world. Feel your superpowers. Be self confident. Be positive.
Well, if I think it through, actually all of these points also apply on hd transitions. And I know, I’ve been through such situations before. I managed to handle the as well as I handled the hd. Sometimes it takes a little. This time it might take a little longer. But I am sure, the day will come, when I will look back and smile and think: remember these days, when I thought it will never be good again?