Some thoughts about hotel rooms (attention: sarcasm!)

I counted, since 1st of January I stayed in 13 different hotel rooms. So a lot of time to make some studies about those cosy places to sleep and stop over. Many of my thoughts apply mainly on hotel rooms in central Europe, but I think most of it is the same everywhere ;-) So here we go, the top 5 of the weirdest things I found over and over so far.

1.) The temperature
I don’t know why, but either you have the feeling to walk into a sauna or you get the impression that they want to freeze you. I mean ok, it’s cool that I can imagine now how a nice brisket feels inside one of our grills while being roasted on indirect heat. And of course, you can’t cool down a room where you also have to spend time working, having a shower etc. as much as you might cool a defined sleeping room. But wtf? 27 degrees? Seriously? Sometimes you just can call the receptionist to ask to cool down the room temperature, but I can’t count the nights anymore where I woke up sweating and thirsty due to a climate similar to southern Italy in summer.

2.) The blankets
A similar problem are the blankets. And usually it corresponds to the heating problem. Which means: in a desert-like room you get big fat duvets to make you sweat just a little more while you shiver under three layers of thin cotton blankets in 15 degrees-rooms (because you already took all the blankets you found in the closet).

3.) The towels
In order to save water and take care of the environment, usually all the hotels place little placards or stickers in the bathrooms with clear instructions (in various languages): towels on the hanger – I will use it again. Towels on the floor or in the shower – please exchange. So I always place them on the hangers because hey, nobody needs fresh towels every day. And what happens? They replace it anyways. EVERY TIME. Is there any explanation for it? If yes – let me know! For the sake of the environment…

4.) The smoked salmon at the breakfast buffett
This is a very German thing. Of course a good breakfast always is an important factor which makes business travelers feel good and energetic. Obviously, in Germany smoked salmon seems to be an essential criteria for it. Because you find these shiny, greasy, already dried on some parts, probably not bred in sustainable fishfarms fish slices on every buffett – no matter if somewhere in a city or on the countryside. Don’t get me wrong, from time to time it is a lovely add on on a breakfast table or on a brunch menu, but hey – how much fish is thrown away every day because the Indian managers visiting a trade show don’t even know what to do with it, because actually all that they are craving for would be a bowl of nice and healthy breakfast curry? The positive exception is Motel One (and no this is not an advertising for them). No salmon. Thank you!

5.) The coffee
Another -very obvious thing- is coffee. If you are lucky, they have a self-service station by Jura or WMF or something like this where you can get the preferred coffee with the push of a button. If you are “not so lucky” they ask you: Do you want coffee? *click drama button* Then two things can happen: you can order Cappucino or Latte and get a nice cup of coffee, because they prepare it fresh somewhere at the bar. Or you get a pot of filtered coffee – but not one of those lovely high quality brews. No. Water with some kind of brown color and a bitter taste. So yes, be careful: if you prefer black coffee like I do – avoid saying “black coffee please”. In most cases, this creepy coffee pot will show up again.  Ask for two or three espressi or “Café Creme” in Germany. The only way to get decent strong black coffee  sometimes…

Besides the mentioned things there are creepy things around every hotel corner. And if you are a person with an eye for details like I am, you can laugh a lot even after the longest days. Curse and blessing ;-)

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