You know me – I am an active person, I love to spend time with sports, being active, indoors, outdoors, flying, skydiving, everything that is connected to physical action. Usually.

Usually being active also helps me fighting negative thoughts and getting rid of stress, frustration and usually it builds me up. Usually. But right now, every workout and every action except falling down onto my couch in the evening costs me a lot of willpower and strength. And even though I was really looking forward to my first tunnel camp in Prague last weekend and flying was of course awesome, it wasn’t as good as it has been before.

What’s up? To be honest, I simply don’t know. Actually I can name some factors, but it really worries me that my usual exit strategy -sports- does not help. Not at all. My nutrition is rather fine, so that can’t be the reason for lacking energy. I definitely sleep enough. And my app says also my sleeping efficiency is good. But….

The situation at work is getting worse every day. I am stuck in an incredibly annoying traffic jam twice a day to work in a place where the working climate is simply a big mess and catastrophy, where I have to fulfill tasks, that are more assistant work than anything else, where my ulitmate goal is to get home in the evening. I am currently working on some plans to make this better – but everyone of us spends a lot of time at work and of course this brings you down when nothing is running there. I suffer from constant headache, there is hardly one day without ibuprophene and I really hate that. It is all the thoughts running in circles, the bad air, too little fresh air.

Weather is kinda warm right at the time with 15 degrees (in November!). Still there’s so much fog and it’s getting dark at 5 pm. I hate such conditions and my body won’t work the way I want. Headache, stomachache, dizziness, being tired and unconcentrated… just to name a few results. I hate that!

Maybe also due to my missing motivation and power, I didn’t progress as much as I wanted in Prague. I wanted to finally overcome my fear of some of the movements, but I felt so insecure that it simply didn’t work. Also a little crash and a hurting neck didn’t help too much for that. It is frustrating and keeps me from being able to fly better with other people.

After some weeks of full motivation for sports and working out I hardly can get my ass up for the minimum amount of sports. Taking one or two days off from the training schedule is good to recover, espcially after Prague, since I had too many ámbitions and too little recovery there. But hey, this can’t go on forever! I feel sick, fat, old and miss my energy. Energy I’d get from sports maybe, but hey, I feel to weak to workout. What a nice vicious circle. I think somehow I also might just feel bored of so many things. The same running round, the same daily schedule, no highlights, no goals and no progress.

Yesterday I came home and at first didn’t want to do anything except taking a shower and get on the couch. Then I thought fuck it, and I went for a run. A rather slow one. And a short one. But at least I got my ass up. Better than sitting on the couch right? And if I didn’t went running, how could I get rid of my kilos and feel finally better and energized? I felt a little better afterwards, still unsatisfied and bored.

Because that’s the problem. Negativity causes more negativity. And won’t change anything. And people will receive my negative vibes and this won’t solve my little construction sites. I just ruin the good things in my life too.

You know me, I’m a planner. I have to ápproach things to feel in control. And yeah, actually my motivation problem is the smallest and easiest one to solve right now :-D

So here’s the plan:

  1. Stick to the schedule in order to get back on track. And even if I really don’t want, I do SOMETHING. Something I can call somehow productive and that give me a little feeling of satisfaction. This “in your face” to my weaker self. No excuses!
  2. Set up a goal. Just have to find the right one though…
  3. Try new/old things. I really want to get back into my TRX group – so I will have a fixed day every weak, where I workout with others and with always different exercises. Because I know that I will go there even if I absolutely don’t feel lilke training. Maybe I’ll meet up with a friend for running. I usually hate running together. But maybe it is time to try it again? Let’s get rid of the boredom!
  4. Squeeze in a little bit more wellness. Massages, blackroll units, enjoying new shower gels, body butters and stuff, a visit at the hairdresser…Because on the one hand it reduces my physical pain, on the other hand it just makes me feel better even if I gained weight.

Sounds super organised, right? Eeeeh. I will see. Changing variables is the only way to get a new result. In times of life changes or difficult circumstances, I recognized that as soon as I really took care of me, everything fell into place. So let’s hope for the best, right?


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