July kicks in

Hell, it’s been over two weeks since my last post! Seems like I’ve been lost or something?

Well, actually I was somehow. Fighting serious post-boogie-blues after another great weekend with the team Freie Radikale in Niederöblarn in the mountains, I finally have time to recap the last month a bit.

June was a month of hard work, of hot days and a great week of holidays including my birthday. It was a month of fighting through stress, of finally relaxing, partying and having fun, and of some sad and depressing moments too. Mixed like the unstable weather we have right now.

My knee starts to get better, especially because I tried bioresonance therapy. The results are great and even though my knee is far away from working perfectly I still have hope that I can finally try running landings and do all the sports I love again. I really can recommend this kind of therapy, since it is an alternative way you definitely should try when you want to avoid chemical medication.

At work we still try to find a focus and strategy how to deal with all the topics we have. The weeks before my holidays I had almost no day under 10 hs and my days have been getting up, going to work, maybe squeezing in sports, getting back home. The weekends I helped out at the dz and then it started all over. Only the two days in Saulgau have been a little interruption I really enjoyed and when I felt relaxed again, even if it was just for a few hours.

After a weekend with a crazy demojump in the rain, finally there was my week of holidays.  We went to Klatovy for Vectorfest and it was amazing. The week started with my birthday and I got a balloon jump as a present from my friends. I experienced it with some special people and we had a blast. Afterwards we got incredibly drunk at partying and hell yeah, I enjoyed it. The Vectorfest itself was awesome, many good jumps, lovely people, crazy nights and hot weather. Unfortunately a fatal accident on the first day too and everyone felt sad about the things that happened. R.I.P. Nina.I got my new summer suit by DEEM flywear and it flys like an arrow. I will write a review about it, it is amazing. I am incredibly thankful for all the wonderful moments I had with old and new friends and the freedom and happiness. Finally I had the intense feeling of being alive again, which was so important and gave me so much energy.

The last week of work was rather busy, a lot of urgent projects and smaller jobs to be done. It was good that I only had four days of work until the next boogie and then went to Niederöblarn. The weather was better than expected and we had good jumps and a lot of fun. Again all the great things boogies offer and now the post boogie blues kicking in.

Well, of course on the one hand it is pretty normal that you feel a bit depressed after such wonderful days in a community. But this time, I feel a bit more lost and disappointed. It’s because I realized that a person I would never talk or feel bad about is nothing more than exactly the same rude and disappointing personality than all those I already kicked out of my life. This is sad, because I thought it would be different. But all the reactions and the way this person acted, show me that it’s not like this. It’s sad when you realize that all the hope and good feelings you had where just for nothing. Somehow I also feel pranked, fooled and used.

Yes, and I really miss someone with a shoulder to lean on, someone to experience all these great things together with. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the possibilities my free single life offers. But when I look on all the couples around me, those, who give you a smile just watching them, I can’t deny that I am a little jealous, even though of course I feel absolutely happy for them. And when I look on those who fooled and used me and have relationships now, no matter if they are good ones or not, I can’t help myself, but I think it’s somehow really unfair. Maybe it is this getting older thing, but I miss all the boring couple things combined with the fun you can have with your significant other.  And there’s another thing, that I miss so much: getting steady ground and roots again. Being able to feel safe and make plans together instead of running from one day to another and never knowing what’s next. Or let’s say only the plans I make for my own.

But hey, it’s the way it is. Tomorrow I have to get back to reality at work and don’t have time to think about it too much. I will have a cosy evening tonight and think a bit about life before the new week starts. I am going to sort out some holiday things and I have to finish a project for the skydiving club. My nutrition plan has to be set up after the last two weeks of let’s say holiday diet ;-) So there’s a lot to do and no time for worrying. And I rather concentrate on one of the only truths I really believe in: almost everything happens for a reason….

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