A few days ago I found the picture above on Instagram. Besides the fact that a real photo of naked boobs would be immediately deleted, it shows something alarming. That especially women, might them be so called fitgirls or models or just “normal” next door people tend to expose themselves more and more just to get attentions, “friends” and hope to be happier through this. I regrammed it and the reaction was incredible: over 240 likes so far!
Which proofs one thing: many people, men as women alike, feel the same way as I do when they look on pictures of everyday people, showing naked skin, perfectly filtered pictures of boobs, “thigh gaps” (the most unnecessary invention ever if you ask me), reporting about everything they eat just to prove how healthy they are, faking smiles and a life which is in most cases not as they show it anyways: shocked, upset and somehow sad. I definitely know some people, who always post pictures where they show the typical body parts (boobs, legs only wearing underwear or hot pants, super-photoshopped portraits, sixpacks ….) a lot and even more when they feel sad or unhappy.
It really alarms me. Is our society so superficial that you have to show private parts of your body or a lot of naked skin to be seen? Is this our way to get the attention and sympathy we all wish for, in particular when we had tough times? Is this the way we want to educate kids and teenagers of how to be popular (which apparently seems to be a guarantee to be happy)? Obviously it is. Don’t get me wrong, of course I am aware that also in times before social media being beautiful, sexy and always happy was considered as important and people tried everything to reach a certain level of popularity with it. But you didn’t share it with millions of followers all over the world. You didn’t post pictures of you at home in your bathrooms, not knowing what would happen to them and how many psychos would use them for their “special” purposes. And you didn’t start with 15 years to design a person you want to be, even if it was fake and not you, just to be accepted. Instagram was founded to collect beautiful daily moments and things and it’s a shame that is is now too often used by the society to reduce ourselves on things like kilos, skin and how we look like.
Just from a statistic point of view, I never ever get as many likes as other people on my pics. Not even the ones from my holidays where I do wear a bikini and you do see legs and boobs. Why? Maybe because I don’t invest hours to find the perfect selfie, I don’t photoshop them (uhm yes, the one or another filter might be applied, but that’s it) and I don’t arrange my pictures, with carefully placed well known brands, body parts and “cool” accessoires. Does the number of likes matter to me? No. Was this always the case? Well…
Two years ago, I had a rough time and felt absolutely, really, really unhappy. My whole self-confidence was destroyed by a guy I thought I loved, I was really depressed and crying most of the days and was super insecure (which still surprises me that I let him ruin me that way but hey..) And yeah, I also had a few pics that I just posted for one purpose: to get the attention of men and others telling me that I am beautiful and adorable and all that shit. Did it solve the problem? No. Did I find my prince or friends through this? Oh no. Where those likes honest? Maybe some. Did it make me happy? Not at all. In fact, it even made me more sad, because just like with all drugs, when the high is over, the reality is even worse. The only thing that really helped was that I came to the point where I thought, fuck it, and worked on me as a person. I learned to accept my body and personality again, that it was kinda beautiful and adorable without somebody using stupid hashtags, and, the most important thing, I started a journey back to myself. It was a long and rocky one, but believe me, it was worth it.
I realized that I get the most likes on pictures of beautiful skydives, travels and interesting daily details I shared because I wanted to let others be part of wonderful things I experienced. And food haha. This shows that obviously people are more interested in my abilities than my boobs. Of course, always proofing that you are able to do certain things is exhausting, probably a lot more than wearing perfect makeup every day and showing a perfect body. But hey – at least those things stay and don’t need filters ;-) Learn to accept yourself with all your flaws, even if it is not easy all the time. Find your inner peace without the need of outside people. Be proud of you. Never forget that soooo many pictures are fake and unreal and the people behind it paid and just testimonials of brands selling the idea of a good life for a lot of money… I deleted all of the “not lisal” pics, regardless of how many likes I had on them. And hell yeah, it felt good!
The best feedback and compliment I got during the last weeks was my tattoo lady and two other people telling me that I look so satisfied and one can truly feel how happy and settled I am now again. Those people know me from my real life. They have seen me in good and bad days, some of them even know my insecurities and flaws. And isn’t that a lot more important than a lot of likes on a stupid arranged, filtered, photoshopped picture?