When I learned something in my 31 years of life, it is that there is one thing for sure: there will always be change. People come and go, kids are born, people die, weather is good, on the next day it’s bad. The world changes around us so fast we hardly can keep pace.
In my last 12 months there was a lot of change. I don’t mean that stuff on a bigger scope, but the things that are close to me and to my private life. So here is what I found out during that last year, thinking a lot about me as a person and the world surrounding me.
Change can be something great. It can unveil your special passions or talents, it can make your life better (for example with a new job and more money or better working conditions), or you just get rid of bad habits. You feel happy and see all the good opportunities and new chances. You meet new people that become important to you. You meet old ones again and find out that you want to have them more in your life. You learn. You grow. You get over tragedies, sad stories and get stronger. That is something we all wish for.
But change can be scary too. The uncertainty of what might come or result of a decision you have to take is in my opinion the biggest factor that scares you. I must confess, I am a little pussy when it comes to taking risks or daring big life changes that have uncertain endings. I really try to avoid such situations. Sometimes you feel unsure whether you should take the step or not. You think about it over and over again and can’t imagine that you will ever find a decision. And yes, in some cases it’s just not your decision and you have to adapt to the new situation anyways. Which makes it even scarier somehow.
And change can be sad. I realized during the last months that my relationship to some friends and people changed. Once close mates they seem to be far away from me now. Maybe this is because I changed or they did or both of us. But right at the moment it somehow doesn’t work out, even though every one of us might feel good in the own situation. There is simply no compatibility anymore or less than before. Which doesn’t mean that it can’t be again in the future. But that moment, when you sit in front of each other and realize that it’s just not like it has been, that moment is sad.
Sometimes you know it is better to change something, even if it makes you sad at the first moment. You know that kicking someone out of your life or quitting a thing is the best idea, but yeah, there are too many memories and your own laziness that keep you from doing it. Even if you know that you will feel a lot better after you have gotten your ass up and did what had to be done.
But you are not helpless and have to wait what comes. In many, many cases it’s you that can take the decision and it’s up to you how you react on a changing situation. It might be a hard and take a while. Sometimes it’s easier when there is someone how takes your hand and supports you. If you accept that there always be change and try to find the good in every situation, even the scary and sad change is easier to handle. I know it can be difficult, believe. Fear, tears, loneliness, desperation. The feeling of being alone and small. All phases I’ve been through already and that are normal. But as cruel as it might be, some things will happen anyways. And yes, it sounds cheesy (and I also don’t want to hear it right now to be honest), but even after the hardest rain there will be sunshine too. And if the sun is shining already, there can be even more of it.
It is also a matter of personal attitude. Remember my post about the Self-fulfilling prophecies? Maybe I should read it again, because right now, I am also in a situation, where there is a lot going on and I have to accept it. And uuuhmm… yes sometimes I am sad about it and feel a bit lost and desperate. And when everything is too much, I am more than pessimistic. But hey, deep in my heart I know, that there will be a good ending. Because everything’s going to be good at the end. And if it’s not good, it’s not the end, right? ;-)