This year the greyest of the months starts with sunny and warm weather. It would be a great day for jumping, but somehow nobody seems to be motivated. Maybe I stop by later. Otherwise this would have been my skydiving season, because there are only the Zell am See weekends, but on two of them I can’t go anyways since I am representing the tunnel on a fair and I will go to the annual convention of the German skydiving association.
I am looking on the upcoming month with mixed feelings. On Thursday I started my part time job at the Vienna wind tunnel WIND-O-BONA. The whole tunnel family is great and I really love it there, it’s more like working on a huge playground. We even have an awesome office dog! Ok, I will never ever fall in love with Vienna but it’s a lot better than staying on the couch all day long and especially it’s a business that I’m really into. There is a long list of tasks but hey it’s exactly what I love to do.
But it wouldn’t be life if there wasn’t a little crux too. A person from my past is working there (guess whom), and the whole situation is a bit strange right now. No fights or something, but as we see each other a lot of course my stupid little brain produces flashbacks and yeah, this is the last thing I need right now. Currently we are trying hard to speak to each other in a normal way, but yeah. . Sometimes I just wish to close the door and be left alone.
The next thing is that one of the companies I’d really like to work for called me this week (after a procedure of 3 months) and told me that it was soooo close but no… they took another one. That was really pushing me back. I felt disappointed and like it is always the same: everyone likes me and thinks I’m good and cool, but hey… in the end, I don’t get a chance again. I met an old friend on that evening for some beers, which was good because I couldn’t think too much about it right at that moment. But when I woke up on the next day in that city that I don’t really like with a terrible headache, I felt like a little leaf in a river. What a good thing that Whiskey the office dog cheered me up a bit ;-)
There are a few other applications I can hope for and in some of the companies I already had an interview. Currently I can’t even trust my stomach anymore if they were good or not. Seems to be that my whole intuiton is out of order, in private topics, in job topics and in all other questions I would need it so urgently.
Mr. H. has now moved to Russia for the next two months. He wrote me but to be honest, I don’t want to think too much about that whole thing as well as I don’t want to think too much about my new “colleague” and old “special one” or anyone else. I can’t influence all this anymore and I have to take care of me a little bit more. Maybe all the things fall into the right place some day. Maybe not. In order to fix me I have an important date tomorrow. I will see how it will work out, but I’m sure it will help. My dad also wants to meet me, since he is going to China (don’t have a clue what he wants to do there). Besides the fact that we are running out of time, I am not so sure if I want this right now.
So hey. Seems to be a grey month somehow though. But sometimes, when everything seems to look dark and grey, it turns out to be great or completely different as expected. Things change fast. One month ago I packed my stuff in Sri Lanka and now that seems like a totally different life to me. Let’s see what November offers to me….